Gay Marriage Did This

Frasier’s brother is a Homofascist. Watch in horror as he...

Sat, 30 May 2009 00:16:59 -0400

Frasier’s brother is a Homofascist. Watch in horror as he explains his dastardly plans to launch even more vicious Komodo dragon attacks in Indonesia. Watch the video closely to observe his hands: they are stained with the blood of the infants he eats for dinner every Tuesday night.

A STUNNING TWIST IN THE SAGA TO ‘OUT’ THE REAL...

Thu, 28 May 2009 11:14:00 -0400

A STUNNING TWIST IN THE SAGA TO ‘OUT’ THE REAL MONSTER

Dear readers, in our ongoing quest to unearth the true monster, we have encountered many strange and unexpected twists and turns. Today our journey goes in an entirely new direction that I for one could not have foreseen.

Chris Brown just outed himself as ‘Not A Monster’ !!!

So then who is the real monster??

We had two choices: Chris Brown and homosexuals. Now that Chris Brown is not the monster, then that means…

Lock your doors. Close the windows. The real monsters are still out there.

Smite California!

Wed, 27 May 2009 22:19:59 -0400

What is taking God so long? Really, not to commit blasphemy or anything, but if I were God, things would be running a lot more efficiently around here. Just sayin’. That’s all.

But seriously, what is up with the lack of plagues in California??? I know their economy sucks and all that. But allowing 18,000 Homofascist unions to continue surely merits some sort of locust attack. Or at least, a rain of frogs.

God is getting soft. Man up, God!

Gay marriage causes Komodo dragon attacks in Indonesian villages

Mon, 25 May 2009 23:29:27 -0400

Gay marriage causes Komodo dragon attacks in Indonesian villages:

Shame. The vicious Homofascists will stop at nothing. Even innocent Indonesian villagers are not immune to the crazed guerilla tactics of gays intent on marrying and corrupting our constitution.

If you are reading this and you are being attacked by a Komodo dragon, please send me an email right away.

I just ate Chinese takeout

Fri, 22 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Are there gay Chinamen? I have terrible gas.

These are the faces of evil. These are the vicious homosexual...

Thu, 21 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

These are the faces of evil. These are the vicious homosexual penguins named Roy and Silo (totally gay names) from New York City’s (where else?) Central Park Zoo. These communist Homofascist animals started it all.

I am shaking as I type this. We cannot have this epidemic destroying our furred and feathered friends. Please check your pets for signs of homosexuality and get them treated at your nearest ex-gay center.

What about my rights, Homofascists??

Wed, 20 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

The Homofascists have been going on and on for a while now about their silly rights. In their typical narcissistic way, they have completely forgotten about my rights. That’s right. My. Rights.

But all that changes today. Today I stand up for My Rights.

Homofascists are infringing on my rights. My life is harder, more painful, grittier, now that gays are marrying all over the place. Really, my life is right out of Walker, Texas Ranger. It’s totally hard-core.

Given the state of the economy, should homosexuals keep marrying? Our nation is is grave danger from terrorism, the collapse of our financial system, natural calamities…I could go on and on. And yet the selfish homosexuals want to keep marrying and infringing on our rights.

No one has the right to deny others their basic rights. Shame on you, homosexuals. Shame on you for picking on me. And remember: when you pick on me, you pick on America.

I Can Haz Str8 Marrij Plz?

Tue, 19 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Have any of you heard of this thing called ‘Laulkatz’? Well, I just did.

Laulkatz is a cutting-edge new language that was designed to help people communicate with teenagers. My sources keep me well-informed of new developments and so I found out all about it today. The title of today’s post is in the new Laulkatz language! It means : ” May I Please Have Straight Marriage?”

Isn’t it cool?

This is how you attract the kids. With Teabagging and the new Laulkatz language.

I believe Laulkatz will be a powerful new weapon in our fight against Gay Marriage.

Homosexuals, click here for strong heterosexual male rolemodels

Mon, 18 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Homosexuals, click here for strong heterosexual male rolemodels:

This is an awesome website that will help all the homosexuals struggling with their ungodly impulses. This website will teach you how to behave like a regular guy. You will learn how to flirt with girls like a real man. You’ll learn what clothes to have and what haircuts to get. These are valuable life skills no man can do without.

Everybody gets perverted by Gay Marriage. No one is free from...

Sun, 17 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Everybody gets perverted by Gay Marriage. No one is free from its vile corrupting influence. Not even our furry friends. Watch the devastating impact of Gay Marriage on the mind of a small rodent.

A fantastic set of instructions on how to be a Real Man

Sat, 16 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

A fantastic set of instructions on how to be a Real Man:

Every guy should click on the link and peruse it thoroughly. And ladies, stay away from this link. We don’t want your minds getting corrupted with all this talk about courage and strength.

I just printed out the instructions and taped them on my refrigerator. No one can stop me now. This is why the Internet is so cool. By just following a set of rules written by some really kind stranger, I can fully understand my role as a man in our society.

I left out my chocolate ice cream

Fri, 15 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Now there’s a gooey mess all over my couch. I must have slept through the melting when I nodded off while watching a Golden Girls marathon.

Did I say Golden Girls? I meant Walker Texas Ranger. I turned on the Golden Girls only because Bea Arthur’s hair looked so silly. Walker Texas Ranger is my favorite show by the way. I watch it all the time. Yeah, screw that Bea Arthur and her hair. We’re gonna talk about Chuck Norris. Good old Chuck Norris totally rules. I love me some Chuck Norris. Well, in a manly way of course. His sinewy forearms. Those intense eyes.

You know, if Bea Arthur was a real woman, I wouldn’t be saying such things.

What could possibly make her do this to herself?? Need we ask?

Thu, 14 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

What could possibly make her do this to herself??

Need we ask?

Today in History in the Year of the Lord 1515

Wed, 13 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Mary Tudor, Queen of France married Charles Brandon, 1st Duke of Suffolk.

Queens make the best brides.

The Plague of Warm Sunlight

Tue, 12 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

It’s getting warmer. Urgh. I despise warm weather. Usually warm weather makes people sin more.

I am a good person

Mon, 11 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

I have had a tiring day trying to preserve my morals. More people should be like me and less like themselves. Does anyone realize how exhausting it is fighting for the Lord every day? It’s a thankless job. Even the homosexuals don’t appreciate how I am struggling to help them attain salvation.

Despite being a Hollyweird liberal, Tom Hanks has some...

Sun, 10 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

Despite being a Hollyweird liberal, Tom Hanks has some principles. It is patently obvious that his new movie is all about how Forrest Gump battles gay marriage.

Oh CREED!!! VISIONARIES!!!! PIONEERS!!!! And yet they...

Sat, 09 May 2009 09:00:00 -0400

Oh CREED!!! VISIONARIES!!!! PIONEERS!!!! And yet they disbanded!!! Why?? Why would a brilliant God-loving band break up at the pinnacle of their success? Why would a brooding genius like Scott Stapp not keep his band together? Why would God do this?

This song is transcendent. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I type this. NSFW because you will be weeping in your cubicle while listening to it as I am.

Slow waitress

Fri, 08 May 2009 09:30:00 -0400

The lady just won’t bring me my check. What could be keeping her? Oh wait…

This is how homosexuals destroy the lives of ordinary law-abiding Americans. Today, a slow waitress. Tomorrow, the world.

There will soon be homosexual orgies on the steps of the Capitol

Thu, 07 May 2009 00:19:50 -0400

And who knows what else? I’m sure the necrophiliacs will also come out in full force. After all research has shown that homosexuality and necrophilia go together. (This is why gay people smell so good. They have to use a lot of deodorant to cover up the smell of corpses.) Anyway Gaymarriagedidthis.com has learned exclusively that Washington DC might legalize gay marriage.

Also be warned, good people of DC: our investigation shows that at this rate, soon people will be coming forward trying to marry their gerbil and their dead grandmother. Our crack team of high-level operatives has also found out that homosexuals like to have sex in public places and they frequently desecrate famous buildings. So be prepared to witness some lunatic rapidly fingering his gerbil in front of the Treasury Building, or some weirdo stick his tongue inside his great-aunt’s skull at the Smithsonian.

Just remember DCites, stay calm, alert the authorities and if you find yourself getting aroused by Satan, simply stick a finger in the nearest electric socket. That’s what I do. It really works.